Giving Survivors Back Their Choice, Voice, and Power
Your support allows us to be those trusted people willing to do the long work of walking with a survivor until she can experience healing. Thank you for the gifts that make the ongoing work of training staff, walking with survivors, and seeing transformation happen possible! Give today to see more transformation!
The program at The Sanctuary utilizes the best practices in human trafficking aftercare. Dr. Vanessa Snyder, Chief Clinical Officer, continues to train our staff in the best approaches to help survivors overcome trauma and reduce vulnerability to victimization. We are sharing this knowledge with others as well as we train people from other organizations that will make an impact in their own countries and communities!
Recently in one such training, Dr. Snyder shared a key component of building relationships with survivors that aids in healing: the power of attunement.
The Power of Attunement
In any relationship, there is someone with more power. As babies, it’s our parents who have power in the relationship. As we grow, maybe it is a teacher or another adult. We become attached to the person in power. In trafficking situations, there is always a power dynamic and the survivor has no power.
When a survivor works to heal and build new relationships, it’s important for anyone working with them to remember they have to give their power away. They have to give the survivor the choice to tell her story. Someone who has experienced trauma can get angry, hurt, or lash out. This is normal. She is learning to regulate the power dynamics in relationships. She is learning to use her voice again.
The staff member, counselor, or friend has to remember to stay emotionally regulated and not react in a way to make themselves feel better (but take the survivor’s power away).
“How do you hold your power well? How do you give it away?” Dr. Snyder acts. “Attunement,” she says, “is done in regulating our emotional and nervous systems.” If we aren’t staying attuned to our own emotions, we can do more harm than good.
Attunement is our ability to be present to and with another person’s expression of their experience. We stay a non-anxious presence and remember their story is about them, not about us. If we can stay aware of our own emotions, we can show empathy to others and hold their story without harming ourselves (compassion burnout), them (retraumatizing them), or destroying the trust built between us.
When someone comes to you in a crisis moment, how do you become an emotionally safe place for them? Here are some tips!
Remember the 8 C’s of self-leadership:
Calm: Staying emotionally regulated and composed helps create a safe space for others. In moments of crisis, your calmness can serve as an anchor, allowing the other person to feel stable and grounded, rather than feeding into their anxiety.
Clarity: Clear understanding and communication allow you to differentiate your feelings from theirs. When you’re clear about your own emotions and boundaries, it prevents confusion and helps ensure that you don’t impose your experiences on the other person’s story.
Compassion: Having genuine concern for others while maintaining healthy boundaries prevents burnout. Compassion is essential for showing empathy and understanding their pain without overwhelming yourself or them.
Curiosity: Approaching a situation with open-mindedness allows you to listen and ask questions without judgment. This helps you understand their perspective and builds trust, as you show you are interested in their experience rather than projecting your own assumptions.
Courage: It takes courage to hold space for someone in their vulnerability. You must be brave enough to stay present with them, even when it feels uncomfortable, and to speak up if needed to offer support or guidance.
Creativity: In crisis situations, creative problem-solving allows for thinking outside the box. Sometimes emotional or practical solutions require innovative thinking, whether it’s offering resources or proposing new ways to manage a situation.
Connection: Building authentic relationships based on trust and presence is key to being an emotionally safe space. Staying attuned to their emotions while remaining aware of your own strengthens the connection between you.
Confidence: Trusting your ability to support someone without overstepping builds a healthy dynamic. Confidence in your role means you don’t try to “fix” them but instead offer support and stability.
These C's help us stay emotionally attuned and foster environments where people in crisis feel seen, heard, and safe without the risk of burnout or harming the relationship. These tips can help you in your own relationship with your children and people in your own community
P.S. Stay tuned to hear how our program is utilizing a revolutionary approach of using film to help survivors approach their own stories of trauma. Not on our mailing list? Be the first to read an interview with the filmmaker when you get our emails!
Comentários